I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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