Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
