im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
