Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
