fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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