yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
