Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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