I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize