She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
