i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
