My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
