true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
