You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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