One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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