The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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