I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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