Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
