Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
