dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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