That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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