I wish I only lived at night.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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