I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
