yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
