yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Randomize
