the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
