Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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