I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just pee around me
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
