hotel room ftw
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
