mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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