I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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