separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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