Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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