i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize