Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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