I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
