I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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