My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
this hospital has no fireball
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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