i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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