I don't remember. Are we still dating?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Boobs speak an international language.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
