Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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