Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
