Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
