Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My ass is underappreciated
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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