Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
