trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
