Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
