Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
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