dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
