i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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