i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
