Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Randomize
