If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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