if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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