ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
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We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
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He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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