Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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