Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think your dad took our porno
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
