Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
